It’s time for some changes…10 tips to feeling good when you hate your life 

Have you ever had one of those days? You know the days I’m talking about. You wake up groggy to that same alarm sound that haunts your dreams. You get up and step on a Lego your kid left out the night before, sending a shockwave of lip-biting pain from your foot up to your now fully awake brain. You find your black, long-haired cat, Mittens, has taken a siesta on your white work shirt as if it were a freshly made futon laid out just for him. Downstairs, you remember there’s no cream or sugar because your neighbor, Brad, came over last night to borrow some (damn Brad), so you sit drinking your coffee. Cold. Black. The same color as your soul at that moment. All that before 7:30 A.M. Oh, and also, its only Monday. Yeah, you know, one of THOSE days. 

For most of us, those days are just a part of life. They are moments, or days, that flow like the rivers of Capistrano. The highs don’t stay long, and neither do the lows. They just continuously…pass. But for many people suffering from depression, they don’t pass. Instead of a flowing river, their days feel more like a stagnant pond of sadness, doubt, and pessimism. 

If you fall into that group, certainly don’t feel bad. You’re not alone. But now the trick for you becomes how to dig yourself out of that quicksand of despair. 

I hated my life once. Between the ages of 13-16. Sound familiar to anyone? I was short, wore glasses, had a face that looked like a Chicago style deep-dish with everything on it, and watching me try to talk to any girl was like watching a giraffe try to roller-skate. 

Sure, those problems sound trivial now, but for me at the time, for a teenager with the life perspective of a squirrel, it equaled life devastation. Why did I feel this way? Do others feel this same way? Does this ever get better? These were the question that passed through my brain from morning until night. These, and who will be on the next cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. Would it be Heidi Klum, or will Tyra Banks get the nod? Or maybe it will…sorry, I’m getting off topic here. Where were we? Oh yeah, luckily for me, I was able to get over those feelings that had me chained up like a prisoner inside my own body. Looking back at that rough time in my life, I’m now able to put things in perspective and see it for what it was. A rough TIME in my life. Those problems that caused me so much grief and depression are no longer issues in my life now. Okay, so I’m still short, and alright fine, when I try talking to a woman it’s like watching a horse wear high heels. But hey, at least I don’t have to wear glasses anymore! Well.. except when I’m working at a computer. But anyways, the point is, I can wake up in the morning, I can look in the mirror, and I feel good! I love life! Things got better! 

But what if you just can’t seem to shake that feeling? What if every day just feels like Groundhog Day from hell, from wake up to sleep, just a revolving door of sadness and overwhelming despair? As the old cliche goes, “things will get better.” They got better for me, and they can get better for you too! 

So here are my 10 tips to help you start loving life again: 

 1. Recognize the problem

The first step you can take is realizing you have a problem. You don’t need to walk around with a big, gold badge telling the world that your life sucks, but internally, let yourself know that there is something wrong. If you can admit to yourself that something just isn’t right, then you can start the process of moving forward to finding a solution.

2. You’re not alone

 

Along with coming to grips that you have a problem, also give yourself the relief of knowing you are not alone. Although you may feel otherwise, you can take solace in knowing that many people around you understand and feel the same way you do. This can become even more apparent if you choose to participate in group therapy.

3. Move your body

They’ve been saying it for years! Doctors, scientists, healthcare professionals. Hell, even Barney the dinosaur told you when you were a kid! There nothing better you can do, free of charge I might add, than moving your body. That doesn’t mean you need to go climb Mount Kilimanjaro but do something! ANYTHING! The natural release of chemicals from your brain will absolutely make you feel better than lying motionless with your mind on your problems and your problems on your mind.

4. Eat better

This goes right along with #3. Putting better things in your body is ultimately going to make you feel better. If I’ve heard it once, then we’ve all heard it 10,000 times, a healthy diet and exercise will make you feel better. Not exactly rocket science here. But in a situation where it feels like you don’t have any control, diet and exercise are two things you absolutely can control.

5. Keep lists

This is a simple, but very helpful tool that can help pull you out of a rut and back on the road to fulfillment. When you start making a list, it doesn’t need to include large tasks like solving the housing crisis in your community. In fact, preferably, keep it simple. Little things such as make the bed, get a car wash, buy cream and sugar because your neighbor Brad still has all of yours. Small achievements like these can help you feel more empowered, and a can give you a greater sense of purpose.

6. Talk about it

Talking about how you feel can help in many different ways. For one, it can help you release bottled up feelings and emotions. The release alone can take some of that heavy weight off your shoulders. Second, you might find out that others feel similar to you, which goes back to our #2 on this list. Also, if you’re having trouble putting things in your life into perspective, possibly another person can help paint a clearer picture for you. You could talk to a licensed therapist, a friend, a coworker, or even your neighbor…Brad.

7. Make goals

This harps back to #5 on our list. Remember how you were making lists? Accomplishing daily tasks? Well once you’ve mastered that art, it’s time to take it to the next level. Think on a bigger scale. Making more long-term goals will keep you busy, keep your mind occupied, and give you a sense of purpose to keep moving forward. It will also give you something to look forward to, whether it’s saving up for a vacation, reading two self-help books that month, or learning a new skill, it is something you can invest yourself into. And the bigger the goal you set, the more satisfying it will be when you achieve it.

8. Do something fun!

Of everything on this list, this one should be the easiest, most enjoyable tip. Do something fun! I could write a paragraph about what I think is fun for ME but let’s just save us all some time. This is all about YOU! What do you like to do? What adds excitement and enjoyment to your life? Don’t tell me about it. Don’t think about it. Give yourself free time and just go do it!

9. Put things into perspective

I know it’s harder than it sounds, believe me. 15-year-old me would not be having any of this talk. But I wish I could have a little side bar talk with 15-year-old me now. I would tell him, “Hey, you’re gonna be okay! Things seem tough right now with no light at the end of the tunnel, but trust me, things could be a whole lot worse. This is just one bad stretch, but I promise you, there is a light at the end of this tunnel. You are not the first person to feel this way, and you certainly won’t be the last. Things will get better. I promise you; things will get better.”

10. Get professional help!

This could have been #1 on this list, #2,3,4,5 etc. The fact is it is always an option. The stigma of mental help is becoming a thing of the past. No longer do you have to whisper it. It’s something that you can openly, and honestly discuss because there is a wide range of resources available to help. Everything from individual therapy, to group therapy, to apps and education are at your finger tips now to get your life back to what it should be. Let the sun set on these feelings of sadness and depression, because tomorrow is a new sun rise.