Marriage is often seen as a lifelong commitment, a union of love and companionship. However, there are situations where, from a mental health standpoint, someone might find themselves questioning the sustainability of their marriage. It’s essential to recognize that making the decision to end a marriage can be an act of self-care and a step towards preserving one’s mental health. In this blog post, we’ll explore some reasons why someone might not want to be married anymore from a mental health perspective and how they can work on it.

1. Mental Health Struggles

Mental health challenges such as depression, anxiety, or even trauma can severely impact a person’s ability to maintain a healthy and fulfilling marriage. These conditions can affect one’s mood, energy levels, and overall sense of well-being, making it difficult to be present and emotionally available in a relationship.

Working on it: Seeking professional help, like therapy or counseling, is a crucial step. Both individual and couples therapy can help address mental health issues and provide tools for better communication and emotional connection. If this marriage is something you don’t want to give up, this step is crucial for being able to approach potential issues to work on.

2. Emotional Disconnect

Over time, couples may grow apart emotionally. This emotional disconnect can lead to feelings of loneliness and frustration, negatively affecting one’s mental health.

Working on it: Reconnecting emotionally requires open and honest communication. Couples can benefit from setting aside quality time for each other, practicing active listening, and exploring new ways to reignite the spark. Try to establish a regularly planned date night when it best matches your schedules, or take 30 minutes out of your day to talk about what happened (the best part: it might start out awkward at first, but with practice and consistency, you might find yourself talking for longer than 30 minutes).

3. Unresolved Conflicts

Long-standing, unresolved conflicts can fester and erode mental well-being. Even worse, ongoing tension and hostility can lead to chronic stress and anxiety.

Working on it: Couples can benefit from conflict resolution skills and compromise. Seeking the guidance of a therapist can be instrumental in helping both partners navigate and resolve issues constructively. Try to express feelings from a perspective, “When [blank] happened/was said/etc, it made me feel…” and let each other be honest and open. Try not to judge, blame, or belittle; getting to the root of deep-seated issues takes time, compassion, and kindness from both parties.

4. Codependency

Sometimes, individuals may feel trapped in a marriage due to codependency issues. This can lead to feelings of suffocation and loss of personal identity.

Working on it: Learning to set healthy boundaries and fostering independence can be crucial. Individual therapy can help address codependency and promote personal growth. Look up something new you’d like to try or get in contact with friends you’d like to spend time with. ‘We’ does not mean you have to sacrifice all of ‘me’; for there to even be a ‘we’, you have to maintain a healthy relationship with yourself, otherwise you have nothing to contribute.

5. Lack of Compatibility

Incompatibility can take a toll on mental health. If core values and life goals are fundamentally different, it can lead to constant stress and dissatisfaction.

Working on it: Sometimes, the best solution for both individuals’ mental health is an amicable separation, allowing each person the opportunity to find happiness and fulfillment in a different context. If this is something you’re not willing or don’t want to consider, then it’s crucial to consider couples therapy or long, hard conversations about boundaries around one’s values and life goals. Remember to come at every conversation with respect and try to understand where your partner is coming from; if worst comes to worst, remember that it’s not worth sacrificing who you are just to make someone else’s life easier.

The decision to end a marriage is a deeply personal one, and it’s important to prioritize mental health and well-being in this process. Not all marriages have to end for you to find resolution, though, so it’s vital you analyze where you are in this journey and decide whether it’s something you want to work on or not. Either way, seeking professional help and fostering open, honest communication are essential steps to either work on the marriage or explore healthier alternatives.

Ultimately, prioritizing one’s mental health is a courageous and self-affirming choice, even if it means parting ways with a marriage that no longer serves their well-being. We hope whatever choice you choose, you are able to have peace and happiness in your life.

If you’re interested in couple’s therapy, we here at Overt would love to help! [what else could I add here?]